Tampering With Things Man Was Not Meant to Know - The Mad Scientist guide to Laboratory Safety. (Feb/28/2009 )

14. However if a emergency situation is present, in all cases police, fire department, army, men in black, or the superior alien friends will be too late. You always have to help yourself. Therefore make emergency plans, exercise yourself, buy personal protective equipment (helmet, bulletproof vest, breather) as a minimum. A gun that definitely can kill the insane android may be necessary too. Don't forget emergency exits and an escape pod. If you have unlimited funds (or just really being scared of something in your experiments) then a transporter may be worth to purchase.

15. Only work with known dimensions (to my knowledge 3-4 if you keep at classic physics, the rest is hypothetic and too mathematical and definitions seem quite blurred). If you detect more and try to access them, you can be sure that they are filled with greedy horrible monsters or lost souls that want to get (and kill) you.

16. Try to avoid really bad combinations.....chemistry and the occult... rocket fuel and Project Moonchild....then throw in L. Ron Hubbard and fraud to the mix plus some Hollywood special effects (after coming down in the world)...and what have we got? Actually, it's probably a sweaty palm and a coffee can filled with explosives, while tinkering in his own backyard lab no less, which did Jack Parsons in. Some more rules to remember: keep your mind in your science, your money in your pocket, your feet on the ground and your hands dry all the time.

17. Avoid working for a psychopath boss.

18. Don't follow main stream, flow of funds, science fashions or peer pressure. You'll lose ethics, honour, life, or your appearance...

19. But being a sole member of your own exclusive club carries a steep price so we should set the bounds for eccentricity (never mind the hair style and the beady, insane eyes)....otherwise, we'd die alone and poor...just like Nikola Tesla....

20. A stable social environment and a team of mutually enriching nerds and normal people is of course helpful. One or another genius is helpful, too. But look for scientists who not alpha animals and try to topple you. You are the boss.
And a boy- , girl-friend tolerating or even sharing the eccentricities is a real hot tip. But for the beginning I'd suggest to marry well or to marry into money, this can increase the funds tremendously .

21. A mercenary mad scientist...great.. ..what I would suggest is to pay closer attention to your finances and if you can manage them yourself, the better and invest wisely....think of patents and royalties....Tesla had over 300 and what had he to show for in the end (I meant financially of course)...yet he wouldn't accept charity..a pity he didn't marry an heiress so that was his mistake....it's really a good tip...

Paris Hilton is still available, dr H ...SCNR...

22. When lacking funds and marriage to a beer heiress or old rich billionaire is unavailable/unobtainable, building a laser on the moon is a viable means of obtaining financial support from the UN and US. Alternative if one had lived an interesting and colourful life, one could write a book and sell the story to a tabloid

23. Never ever lose that persevering spirit (be like a snapping turtle that snapped and won't let go) and that special rare ability to laugh at yourself esp after you've gotten rejected by the beer heiress/old billionaire, the book publishers or the tabloids, the US or UN (or Science and Nature and the granting agencies)........