Lab embarressment - (Apr/23/2009 )

I am having some problems with my PhD supervisor, which cullminated on Monday with me crying in a lab meeting (not full on balling my eyes out, just red in the face and few tears). It was not his intention to make me cry, I just got so frustratrated with his negative attitude towards my project, and to a small extent his attitude to my forward planning on my project.

Firstly, I'm embarressed about my own behaviour and control of my emotions . I feel as if I was childish to cry when he was critising me and my planning. No-one in the lab group has approached me about it, which I'm fine with since I would rather ignore the crying incident than have to acknowledge it with all my male colleges (Yes, I am the only female in an all male lab).

Secondly, (and the reason behind the incident) my supervisor devised my poject and put together the grant. Now 1 years into the project he keeps complaining that he doesn't like doing large scale projects and wants me to scale everything down. I'm working on a project that is looking at the biogeography of a particular bacteria, so the project was always going to be large scale project. His constant negativity about a project that he put together is really getting to me.

He is an old school scientist, close to retirement, and is a poor communicator... how to explain to him that I believe in this project an am up to the task of doing it (without bursting into tears)?

Cheers
M

Hey,

Its okay, it happens. We all get emotional at times but I would advise you to be professional and not get too emotional about work. I think the best thing to do is to talk to your boss clearly and ask him what he wants. In the end its his lab and you got to work on the project that he wants to run in his lab and learn in the process. Talk in a polite manner and explain yr perspective and then tell ask him what to do next and do exactly what he says (only if you are convinced and don't walk out of his chamber till you are). In the end he is an experienced guy and has the responsibility to get you a PhD.

It happens....don't make a big issue abt it in yrself...we all cry sometimes or the other.

Best,
TC

I cired as well during my PhD study, once, due to my supervisor's negitive attitude to my thesis. But I didn't cry in front of him, I cried in my office and some of his other students told him (I guess). Most of female students were made to cry in our group and even one guy.

So, don't think too much of it. It is OK. Not a big deal. Everything will just pass.

Good luck!

It's worse over here . At my place. undergrad are forced to do a 1 year long research sort of like an independent research . i have seen some of them cry because they don't get result especially nearing the end of the 1 year period. it's really sad forcing ppl to do this kinda thing and holding their degree away if they don't do it.

This is the nature of grad school - and life.

I'm feeling a lot better now about the whole event. At least I know I'm not the only one.

My superviors negativity is still an issue... but at least if I am aware of it and what causes him to make these comments, I will be able to deal with them better in the future.

M

GeorgeWolff on May 1 2009, 11:48 PM said:

But it shouldnt be and should be changed! far too much negativity in science and they wonder why not many people stay in the feild!

Science by its nature is and should be negative. We are challenged to demonstrate our case - providing compelling data by the critical exoerimentation. You should be glad you have the old crotchy guy to do just that.

Decide if you want to be a scientist - and it appears you have done that. So carry on.

GeorgeWolff on May 7 2009, 11:58 AM said:

There are ways to be negative though and completely ripping someone to bit isnt the way to go about it. Critisism should be accepted and built apon but if they leave you in peices you may not have the confidence to go on.

Well said.

I completely agree. There is a way of going things and should be in limits.

Kami23 on May 7 2009, 05:28 PM said: