unfairness in the lab :( - (Apr/04/2008 )
If anyone has any time…I would love to hear your suggestions…
I have a few problems in my lab. I am a PhD student.
The post-doc who is the leader of the project she can be very rude it depends on her mood. When she is in a good mood and helps…she is very good. I really appreciate her help when she does help.
The main problem I have is she gossips a lot. She talks about a number of people (when they are not around) openly in the lab. My supervisor believes everything she says (they socialize a lot outside the lab as well). She picks a particular set of people and then gossips about them and there is another set of people she hangs around (goes for coffees and social outings) and she would not say anything about them. And my supervisor also hangs around with the same crowd she does. She was telling everyone in the lab when I and another post-doc was not around that we used up one of her reagents. I can’t speak for the post-doc (I don’t think she would do that) but I know for sure I didn’t take any of her reagent. In fact I don’t take anything from her without asking her. And she uses my reagents and plasmid preps sometimes even without asking me. Apparently when she was talking about this, my supervisor got upset and said we (me and the other post-doc) can’t do that! Another student who heard this conversation told me a few days ago when we were talking about these issues. I got very upset because she is lying about me to my supervisor and he believes what she says. Only god knows how many lies she has already told and will continue to tell …. And I fear my supervisor would believe her word over mine… And even my supervisor gossips about other students in front of us …
That is a serious problem which U have said here. It is not just unfairness.
There have been a number of discussions on problems in lab till now and there is not protocol to get rid of that. Each supervisor and problem-maker are unique.
There are many ways to handle the situation but as no one has suggested anything yet, I start with mine then 
You have just couple of years in the lab. . till U complete your PhD. After that, you will not for sure want to continue in the lab. I suggest, till you complete your programme, don't think of fairness and unfairness. Just do your experiments and studies as sincerely as you can.
And about the problem-maker, U cannot change her nor the supervisor unless you want to really try for that even gambling your PhD. I am sure you won't want to do that. So, as you have suggested, she has those in her good book and her bad book and that makes a difference in the way supervisor see you, try to be in her good book to be good in front of your supervisor. U might have to do things and listen to things you don't want to but take them as a part of your training now - just few years. Please her even if you hate her from within. But, I suggest you not to overdo by yourself gossiping but just hanging around with her and little gifts once in a while can help U.
I am sorry to hear about your situation but am sure there will be really good suggestion here in the forum.
Good luck.
Thanks a lot for the suggestions...
Most of the time...I also try to tell myself just think about work. But sometimes...some days it just makes me feel very down, hurt and something inside me yells out “this is so so unfair”
It is still a mystery to me how she chooses which ones to be nice to or how my supervisor chooses which ones to socialize outside the lab. I do not know the formula of how this whole thing works… And I really do not care about the social gathering they have. I just wish in the lab all of were treated equally.
I am not sure if I can make extra efforts to please her, because of the way I feel about her..... But I do not do anything to annoy her. Generally I try to do my experiments and keep to myself now. But some days are really hard…..
There have been a number of discussions on problems in lab till now and there is not protocol to get rid of that. Each supervisor and problem-maker are unique.
There are many ways to handle the situation but as no one has suggested anything yet, I start with mine then
You have just couple of years in the lab. . till U complete your PhD. After that, you will not for sure want to continue in the lab. I suggest, till you complete your programme, don't think of fairness and unfairness. Just do your experiments and studies as sincerely as you can.
And about the problem-maker, U cannot change her nor the supervisor unless you want to really try for that even gambling your PhD. I am sure you won't want to do that. So, as you have suggested, she has those in her good book and her bad book and that makes a difference in the way supervisor see you, try to be in her good book to be good in front of your supervisor. U might have to do things and listen to things you don't want to but take them as a part of your training now - just few years. Please her even if you hate her from within. But, I suggest you not to overdo by yourself gossiping but just hanging around with her and little gifts once in a while can help U.
I am sorry to hear about your situation but am sure there will be really good suggestion here in the forum.
Good luck.
Be patient. People will gradually know her and she will lose their confidence. I suggest you to be neutral towards her. just do your work.
good luck
i've ben in this institute for almost three years. it's a nest of gossipy people, what else can they do when their research doesn't work? gossip.... the place where i think most of the gossip is generated, as you mention too, is during the coffee breaks and meal time in the dinning room. what to do? i suggest you to stay away from the gossip as much as possible, if it is true that you spend a lot of time in the lab it doesn't mean all your personal activities have to be done there. go out with other people different than the place you're working at, when these kind of gossipy people get into your life they can turn it into a nightmare (here it also happens that some bosses believe everything to gossip-woman or man). sorry to hear about your situation, can happen to anyone. good luck, and don't feel lonely if you stay away from them, it's better. keep it only for academic stuff, not personal.
there are people like that everywhere.
Do not worry about it, in the end others will know who they can trust and who not.
I know its horrible, but you just do not need to worry about what others say about you.
BTW always remember this: the one who is listening to the gossip and believes it , is even worse then the one that tells the gossips.
So if you get a reaction from someone that believes a gossip , then just say yes, it wont happen again and dont worry about it.
Always remember that and in the end it will all be ok. People that are real, honest and people you can work with without gossiping or telling lies will always see true those that tell gossips and those that believe them.
I know this sounds stupid at the moment, but thats just the truth.
I do realise its harder to cope with gossip while you are a student , doing your phd, it sets you in a more volnurable position , but dont worry about it.
Or you could just set the record straight with your boss... There isn't ever anything wrong with that.
Thanks for all the suggestions....
What puts me down is that my supervisor believes what she says. So this has an influence on the way my supervisor thinks about me....
I have thought about talking to my supervisor about this but I fear he would believe her over me. She's been around for a long time, they know each other very well and she's the leader of two important projects in the lab. I am just a PhD student...
What puts me down is that my supervisor believes what she says. So this has an influence on the way my supervisor thinks about me....
I have thought about talking to my supervisor about this but I fear he would believe her over me. She's been around for a long time, they know each other very well and she's the leader of two important projects in the lab. I am just a PhD student...
To be honest I would not confront your supervisor, just check it out and wait a bit more.
What puts me down is that my supervisor believes what she says. So this has an influence on the way my supervisor thinks about me....
I have thought about talking to my supervisor about this but I fear he would believe her over me. She's been around for a long time, they know each other very well and she's the leader of two important projects in the lab. I am just a PhD student...
Chemphoto,
All the suggestions were good and I appreciate them a lot. But, all of them are ideal ones. But to do them in real life is different.
The worst part of your problem is what you have realised 'your supervisor believes what the lady says' though it might be completely untrue. Now, for that you can revolt and talk to the supervisor and convince him you are right. For that you need to be extraordinarily convincing. If I were you, I cannot do that.
The person who is in problem is you and yours will be the final decision for sure. All we can do here is tell you what we would do if we were in your place.
The situation you are in has been there for years. Like I said, unless you are extraordinary, super human being, I don't think you can change that and even if you can, it is not your job to make people good or bad nor is it to judge who is good and who is bad. You are a student and all you should do is your experiments and about the environment you are in, the only thing you can do is adapt to the existing environment. U may like it or you may not like it.
And for adapting to the environment. . . remember what we have been taught at school. . 'survival is of fittest' (not the smartest nor the most innocent). So fit yourself in the environment.
You have to do something to be in the good book of the lady and then the supervisor. That will not need you to overdo something nor gossip around with her. May be help her with something (be visible to her when helping) or other or doing something where she gets a feeling that you are with her not against her. You like her techniques, etc etc. . U like her paper. . U need her help.. etc etc.. . (just showing .. need not be true and even if you hate yourself doing that) then once she has faith on you and not against you then you can be a little passive but never make her feel that U don't like her gossiping.
And, someone suggested just minding your own business and doing experiment. That is the best thing a student can do in a good environment but I think the place you are in, doing that might just make you a target of the lady in the lab. U have to be a part of her drama for sometime before you can start being passive. She should never get a feeling that you are doing things to be better than her but make her feel that whatever you are doing would not have been possible without her guidance or something like that.
I am not in your situation and I am sure most of my suggestion looks like fiction . . jut pick up some points and we will be discussing more on this.