Listen to my heart or go for career - (Mar/22/2008 )

Hey guys,

kind of depressed these days...
To describe the problem in short: my boyfriend and I broke up two months ago; before that I was sure I
wanted to do my PhD in the city we both lived in (already got a position offered there).
Unexpectedly I got a great position offered, in a high-profile, well-equipped institution, which I was 100%
sure to take.
Then my ex and I still get along very well and could have a new start...no guarantee though
And here's the difficult decision: love or career.

I'd be really interested in your opinion!

-S

Career.. you'll find love - don't stop your life to find love or you'll end up with love and no life. If you find love while living your life you'll be much better off.

Here's me who has never really understood relations.

Ummm, to me it looks not so simple but no at all complex problem.

If U love him then what is career? But, if you have broken up already, why should it matter then?

If you plan to start again, why would you want to be with someone who can make you think so much?

Good luck with your life and career. They should be same and not obstructing one another. If they are then there is something wrong somewhere.

I would take the career. If love ends you are stuck in a career you will always ask yourself whether you did the wrong thing. Don't give up your wishes and dreams for love.

Thank you for your honest opinions
Have to think about it...

-S

hey speedy,
sorry to hear about your breakup, s**t happens...if you've already got a good position offered why not take it? only because you'll see your exbf very often? how big is the city? what are the chances you'll get together again? is that what you want? haha...i should listen to myself talking about relationships anyway, i know it's not easy. i would not dare to say that being in a phd is the best way to meet people, it is different for everyone i think. but for sure it is a good option taking the phd position, what are your other possibilities?

Thanks toejam!
My options would be 1) stay in Switzerland with my friends and my ex (btw chances aren't that bad actually) in an environment I know I like, do my PhD there (also got a position).
2) move to the US, into nowhere and once more build a social network which after having moved three times´I'm sick and tired of

Should have decided by tomorrow - that's why I'm sleepless now...

Thanks toejam!
My options would be 1) stay in Switzerland with my friends and my ex (btw chances aren't that bad actually) in an environment I know I like, do my PhD there (also got a position).
2) move to the US, into nowhere and once more build a social network which after having moved three times´I'm sick and tired of

Should have decided by tomorrow - that's why I'm sleepless now...

i agree with cheerioet. i haven't been in switzerland yet but the postcards make it look very nice. good luck on whatever you decide.
tj

I know that someday I will probabily be forced to take some decision like the one you are currently considering...
...and I really don't like this perspective.
I am sure enough about my feelings to know what I would choose if asked now, but I am not so convinced that everything would be so clear if I really had to make my decision for real. Unfortunately there's no solution: you can't have the whole shabang.
I believe that anyway you can't predict which will be the "right" choice in the end, but make sure that you will give yourself the opportunity to live in the way you desire most. Love and career will go along with you and your choice...

Good luck with your choice!
*I*

PS It not clear to me why people hearts never tell them "go away from this person and choose career" but are always supposed to suggest "be humble, renounce to the position you fought for, marry him/her and live a naive, obtuse life"?! Come on!
Just to provoke a little more: probabily sometimes we want to see just these two options, maybe because we like to be some kind of tragic hero, maybe beacuse put our efforts to create a third choice appeares too hard to try...