Personal problems vs recommendation letters - desperate situation - (Feb/26/2008 )

I am doing my PhD in a very small lab and unfortunately my boss had to be away for almost one year, due to health problems. In the meanwhile, our funding suffered a really strong cutback and projects didn't seem to go anywhere.

One member of our lab is an utterly competitive person and is under extreme pressure to finish PhD and get results. This person hates me because she wanted my project and instead my supervisor gave it to me. And mainly because a new student means more costs/time.

The interpersonal situation right now is unbearable. The boss is finally back, but this person, who is the boss' "favourite", has been telling a whole different story about my activities and achievements in the lab in the past, since it is very convenient to her that I leave, for more money will be available for her project. There's even some cases of experiment sabotage, but the boss doesn't want to hear about it, and I cannot prove it.

The department doesn't have anybody responsible for counselling and I have no advisor or co-supervisor. Other labmates don't want to get involved. No other professor knows my work, since our lab is quite isolated in the building and doesn't participate in meetings.

I believe my only option is to leave this lab, since this person has been making my life and work hell (I even fear entering the lab and touching the reagents!), I am receiving no training and projects are rather ruined by the budget cutting-down. The boss is entirely on her side.

However, to go somewhere else I would need a recommendation letter, right? And obviously my boss wouldn't provide me one, due to the personal problem (he wasn't there but took her word to judge everything I had been doing)

What can be done in such a situation?? Would another lab take me without a recommendation letter? Would it be ethical to explain what happened? Would they believe me?
I really appreciate any input since I am really afraid this would mean the end of my career in science, something I couldn't bear.

I'm not sure where you're doing your graduate studies, but isn't there a director of graduate studies or someone who runs the graduate program that you can talk to? Perhaps even the dean of the graduate school? There must be someone that you can talk to. Did you do rotations in any other labs? These can be references too. And of course your references as an undergrad should still stand. You may have to start your project over, but I would say that as long as you've been making an effort to fulfill your duties as a student that they can't force you to leave the program. Talk to someone.

hugs,
smu

Do you certainly must have one of these people

• secondary supervisor
• PhD advisor
• course convenor
• Postgrad Servise
• head of department.
• head of school

Hi Julianne,

I have had a lot of training handling such jerks in the lab!

First thing I would strongly advise, is to have a fair and frank discussion with your boss. Tell him that all that the other person is saying is plain wrong. And you are finding it almost impossible to even come to the lab and do experiments because of the perpetual fear. This is not the right atmosphere to do ph.d research.

Remember there is nothing to fear. It is your career and if you hold back out of fear then you are at loss. You should tell everything to your boss. If that doesnot help, then the first thing you should do is find any other faculty member, who might be on your thesis committee. If you donot have a thesis committee then find a faculty member with whom you have a good rapport. Or go to the head/chair of department.

Present your case without fear and with as much evidence as you can.

It is your career and you have to put your foot down against jerks in the lab.

If you have already not spent too many years in your Ph.D, there is no harm changing labs by telling the new faculty about your problems.

Remember these cases are not uncommon and very likely if you present yourselves well enough, they will understand your situation.

best wishes

... I wonder if it's someone I know. I've happened to be in the very similar situation, only fortunately it wasn't a PhD project, just a scholarship. Is this in France?

first things first

write it all down - so you remember the exact details and if you do make a complaint the words are already there (it makes it easier - trust me)

next remember this - this "competetive" person is trying to destroy you for their own gain - whatever you decide you need not feel any guilt whatsoever - you are not being selfish, mean etc you are simply standing your ground and defending yourself (its the same as martial arts - if someone tries to hit you then use their momentum to throw them to the ground - they did it to themselves)

follow the list pernesblue gave and chat - then decide

good luck and i wish you happier days

dom

Dear friends,

Thank you so very much for your input.

As for talking to somebody, the problem is that there is nobody "small" before getting to the head of department and head of school. The head of department is someone who is not at all interested in the "education" of students, it is just one of the PIs who, by rotation and political interest was "forced" to assume this position this year.

The head of school would hear me, but it would be a major diplomatic issue, since he is also responsible for allocation of grants to the PIs... so it would be me fighting my PI and the entire lab/department…

I am afraid of causing even more trouble and hard feelings by doing so. And in the end, I believe everybody would prefer losing a student and not getting involved than having this level of conflicts going on.

(Especially if they have one side of the story saying I was not good enough to accomplish my tasks - although before the budget cutting there were no complains at all about it, all the contrary!)

But if I don't tell the story, no other lab in my University would take me, for other PIs would naturally talk to my boss/ask for recommendation letter and hear the story he has been told…

As for the bench work, it is my own stuff I am not supposed to contaminate or even touch without explaining first why I want to touch them, step by step. It is an unbearable level of paranoia and really freaks me out! I know the lab is *really* without money, but how can somebody do an experiment like this? Every now and then, something won't work out for any researcher…

I already tried to talk to my boss about what was going on, and he simply said he didn't believe me. He would never take sides, especially against his "favourite".
If really there is no way of making my boss realize what is going on, I believe, as you said, that it might be better to go for the " graceful exit"….

But who in the department would take the risk of taking a student with a "strange" story like this behind her? Why not taking somebody else instead? I could use my undergrad recommendation letters in a new university, but I suppose it would be rather strange not having one from my immediate boss in grad school...

Once again, thank you so very much for your help. I did write everything down (facts, instead of feelings) and it helped me a lot to see things in a much more clear way. I just don't know where to go from here...

Hi Julianne W

Don't fear. It will not help.

If you have spoken clearly to your thesis advisor and he has clearly told you that he trusts the other person more than you, then you should go to the "top" person - whoever that might be.

Tell him all facts, which you have written down. Tell him full story.

If nothing works out you should consider leaving the lab. I know it is a painful process. But do you want to subject yourself to more pain by being in the same lab, around the same people, when you know that their attitudes towards you will not change???

There are many opportunities in science and many labs are in need of trained people.

Put more value to your ownself, your lab experience and talk with confidence when you select your next lab.

REMEMBER YOUR LIFE AND TIME ARE TOO PRECIOUS TO BE WASTED IN SUCH LABS WITH SUCH PEOPLE.

best wishes

Thank you so much... I know, I know, I'm in an avoidance process right now...

But how can I prove my training and the skills I acquired in this lab without a recommendation letter??

How can I assure a new PI that I can be a very good researcher and that I am capable of handling their project?

Who/what will stand up for me, if I move on and leave things behind like this?

That is why it is important to talk to other faculty with whom you are on good terms about your current problems.

If you find them responding positively to your situation, you could gently bring up the discussion about changing labs and for which you might need their recommendation letters and then see if they agree.

Regardless of anything......keep trying.......stay positive.........and believe in yourself. It will all show during your discussions with others.

best wishes

Thank you so much... I know, I know, I'm in an avoidance process right now...

But how can I prove my training and the skills I acquired in this lab without a recommendation letter??

How can I assure a new PI that I can be a very good researcher and that I am capable of handling their project?

Who/what will stand up for me, if I move on and leave things behind like this?