For youse Canadians... - (Feb/16/2008 )

Two guys from Saskatchewan die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh?" The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat.
The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh?" This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go.
The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling bacon and drinking beer. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Regina so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice." The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight.
Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan, and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens.
NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!! The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is up with you two???" The guys from Saskatchewan look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know, eh?. If hell freezes over, it must mean the Roughriders have won the Grey Cup."

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LOL

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Cute Vetticus..really cute


I feel that our national pride and identity are at stake here, therefore….

For Usses Canadians:

Q. How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twelve. Three to form a parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem;

one francophone to complain that the joke hasn`t been translated into french;

one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of the Native Canadians have been overlooked;

one woman from the National Action Committee on the Status of Women to declare that women have been underrepresented in the process;

one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall, buy a new bulb and sneak it in on the way back;

one to actually screw it on;

one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it;

one to buy a case of Molson`s beer for everybody to drink;

and one to drop the puck…but hey, that`s only eleven…

oh yeah..and one guy from New Brunswick to watch the drama unfold while munching on some fiddleheads

So kiss us (ses),


casandra

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why does that guy do that to himself?? (and to the other 11 canadians changing the light bulb ) there are really good canadian beers! i would consider maudite (Chambly, Quebec, Unibroe) and picaroons red (Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada, Picaroons Brewing Company) as some of the finest beers i have ever tried.

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C'est tellement vrai! Traduisez la blague en français! Loi 101 LOI 101!!!!!!!!

OK, enough paranoia

Unibroue does make some good beer (Blanche de Chambly is my favourite). I find the Maudite quite strong

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Well, excusez-moi Monsieur Beer Connoisseur (that’s sorry EH in Canadian English to you toejam) it’s a plagiarised piece. Bad enough that I fiddled with it with that fiddlehead bit but… to change Molson..oh no never….
Maudite, Unibroe, Picaroon…what fancy names to such a plebeian drink which looks, smells and tastes the same and like hog, I mean, sock wash to some of us.
If you want something paired with your foie gras or crumbled blue cheese sprinkled with lightly toated walnuts, may I recommend Quebec’s famed ice cider e.g.,La Face Cachée de la Pomme Neige or Domaine Pinnacle… now that’s a real alcoholic beverage!!!

cheers,

casandra




Bill 101 doesn't work here Madrius C'est tellement vrai!


casandra

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ost='126673']
may I recommend Quebec’s famed ice cider e.g.,La Face Cachée de la Pomme Neige or Domaine Pinnacle… now that’s a real alcoholic beverage!!!

cheers,

casandra
[/quote]

dear casandra,
i do not believe iced cider combines precisely with chips or pizza that we plebeians like to consume while watching sports or having some other type of amusement (e.g. videogames, jam session, etc). i personally prefer the look, smell and taste of sock wash beer (this only applies to some very refined palates) than the "cooler-like" taste of sweet sparkling cider, it's a good thing there are all kinds of drinks for every taste. maybe a new topic of "what is your favorite drink" could be posted!
something else i learned about canadian jokes, which eventually i realized are more the reflection of reality, is the concept of a year in canada: "six months of winter and six months of construction". driving at the highway during spring can be a nightmare.

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Dear toejam,

Yep, no chips nor pizza for our elegant ice cider and it should be taken straight and not mixed with the plebeians. It's also not exactly sparkling (altho there are some varieties which razzle and dazzle) nor is it just regular cider...the apples are harvested while frozen (until very late fall, almost subzero temperatures here in Quebec)) thus concentrating the nectar. One sip and you'd detect some hints of vanille or woodsy oak or other fruity flavors (our refined palates can do this). Yeah, we should start a new topic on this....while you're drinking the sock wash and nibbling the wood chips

Aren't jokes not only a reflection but more precisely a perversion of reality? It's not six months of contruction, hombre, but six months of fun and games with potholes.


cheers,

casandra

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my dearest casandra,

i just found a treasure at my place i hadn't seen in a long time. it's a book called "so you want to be canadian" by kerry colburn and rob sorensen. it contains a small chapter about a"Canadian beasties" such as an animal which actually nibbles wood chips (unlike us plebeians, sorry to disappoint you ), i cite:

it also contains strange facts such as "the handles on canadian beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mittens on". i highly recomend it for everyone. the first time i read it kept me laughing all night long. no wonder canadians are known for being polite and funny.

cheers.

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Yes, a new sub-forum about Canadian eat and drink customs would be good, together with a glossary. Their cuisine seems - compared with other countries on this continent - quite developed. And it was not the first time that uncommon to strange dishes were presented here (poutine, beavers,...). Sometimes it looks as the American fast food, French and native cuisine merged (or collided?) and then developed to several subcultures (or founded sects?).
Anyway what are fiddleheads?

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