Someone getting plastic surgery - What would you think? (Sep/08/2007 )
Here is a topic you might be surprised to find on this forum but I would really like to know everyone´s opinion to get an idea of how people will probably react in my lab.
Here is the thing. I am a 25 year old PhD student who had a baby a few months before I started my PhD. My pregnancy has done a lot of damage to my body (belly + breasts) and while I used to feel blessed with an aesthetic body, I do my best now to hide those damages under my clothes and have a hard time not feeling down everytime I see my naked body. It feels to me like my body suddenly aged 10 years. I am only 25 and I would like to enjoy a still young looking body for at least a few years more. This is really affecting my quality of life in many ways and I have trouble finding motivation for my work in the lab when I have bigger worries on my mind.
Although it was a very difficult choice to make, I have planned surgery for a tummy tuck and breast enlargement as those two procedures would give me the best aesthetic results. My surgery is planned just before christmas holidays to minimize the time this will make me lose away from the lab.
I still have to announce it to the head of my lab and my colleagues. I´m affraid though of their judgment and worry that they will find me very superficial afterwards. Even if I would not tell them, they would probably find out that my breasts got bigger (I have very little breast now since I stopped breastfeeding).
Therefore I would like to know how you would react if you had a colleague in your lab planning the same type of surgery. Don´t be affraid to be too blunt honest if you disapprove: I want to get an idea of what people would REALLY think.
Thanks for your input, I greatly appreciate your help!
If my fren at lab is planing a surgery and she is ok with it and has consulted her doctor and seen everything to be right, who am I to judge? Plus, she will be looking good and feeling good then it will bring some more spirit to the lab. That is good in every way.
Good Luck with your surgery.
well feel like everyone do what he/she wants with his/her body. I mean someone don't like nose and want to change it by surgery i'm ok. If you're sad because of your body well do surgery if you need it to feel better.
I think it's better to have colleagues who feel truly well in their body.
You'll get back your self confidence, and no one should say anything, exept encouragments to do that.
'I´m affraid though of their judgment and worry that they will find me very superficial afterwards.'
Why? It is the opposite, superficial is the people who never face their problems.
I’ll be honest and blunt…. I think that the “judgment” your boss and colleagues will pass on you or on your plan to have the surgery should be the least of your worries. Have you talked with someone else about the problems you have with your body image (post partum)? I know a lot of women who have struggled with the same issues and even planned to do the same thing but I haven’t met someone who’ve actually gone through with the surgery.
The feminist perspective is double-edged, on the one hand a woman should take full control of her life, any decision regarding any part of herself esp her own body should be solely hers to make and therefore must be respected, but on the flip side, the women’s movement has always been challenging the myth that a woman’s worth is dependent on aesthetics or rather her physical attributes, that her happiness is tied up to her having the stereotypical beauty queen/Barbie doll image. So it’s a very tough call. Personally, I’d only consider surgery as the last resort mainly because I’m afraid of needles, blades and drugs..I’m such a wimp at heart 
. If you’ll have yours at Christmas time, I’d call that brave (and I admire you for it) so why should you worry so much about what the other people might think?
casandra
I think if you explain it to people this way, there's no way they'll pass judgement (or bad judgement) on you.
To be blunt and honest.. I was a person like that.. 
totally, it's so superficial that you have to look good, it's all in your head, bla di bla di bla..
Anyway, (I'm from the tv generation 
) I saw this program on tv about a woman that felt the same way and after I saw her body and what damage was done to it it was like a 180 degree turn. I'm totally for it. 
I realize that if you like your body you feel so much better and it will lift your spirits working in the lab, but also improve your quality of life.
Go for it and I hope everything goes well.
PS... don't worry to much about what other people think (I know, I say it, but it's sooooo hard!!). I really think if you tell people that your body makes you feel bad/sad and makes you doubt yourself they will understand! And f#ck them if they don't!! 
It is not my place to say this, but maybe you should hold it off until you are sure you aren't going to have another child 2 years down the road. Plastic surgery is okay by me , but you don't want to undergo repeated operations.
There is no need for me to hold this off: I never wanted to have many children, only one or two. Going through one pregnancy convinced me that I did not wish to experience it again (and I am not only talking about the physical damages caused to my body: I was feeling sick most of the time and the hormones gave me migraines). We´ve already decided that we were not having more babies and my husband already had a vasectomy (this prevents me from taking the pill which gives me migraines because of the hormones of course + I don´t like the idea of swallowing synthetic hormones). I love my child more than anything in the world but I do not wish having more children.
Thanks anyway for this advice: I would definitely not do this type of surgery if I was planning more pregnancies.
a family member had cosmetic surgery... and now she's more depressed than ever.
bodies change.
breast enlargements look fake, and are like having two rocks strapped to your chest. they also have to be replaced every so often.
tummy tucks look really bad on most people.
no surgery will make you look like you did before a baby. surgery will only make you look like you had surgery.
plastic surgeons are sales people. they are out to make money. they will, hopefully, do a competent job and not kill you on the table or leave you disfigured. they will make you think the "job" is better than it actually is. be careful.
if someone in my lab had this done, i couldn't care less... but i personally wouldn't get it done if i were in your position.
V
I think you have to be realistic, and expect that after the surgery you will look better than you do now (hopefully), but wont look the same as you did before the baby.
I am all for it if it's something you need. My mum had a breast reduction a few years ago and the surgery went well, and she loves her new body. I am also contemplating the same surgery.
I would suggest that you don't have to tell everyone you work with that you are having surgery, just your boss. Other people don't need to know what you do in your private life.
If you want to do it, go for it.