Pearls of Wisdom - "Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn" by Dave Barry (Aug/13/2007 )

Pearls of Wisdom
"Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over
50 Years To Learn" by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

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thanks for sharing those views
they're nice and fun

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very funny and quite true !!!!!

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Thank you. It is nice.
But this guy never saw me dancing...

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Sorry hobglobin, I believe that Dave Barry is right after all...
I'm sure your case it's just a matter of style or confidence...try to change your name in hip-hop-globin and things will come along!!!

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I really love Dave Barry. Try to find his views on (a) history and ( B) particle physics.

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Well, in antenatal clinics, they are happy when they are told they are pregnant.

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That's a good one Ila...really cracked me up . Yeah, so how about some hip hop and some breakdancing, hobglobin? You can't disappoint Dave Barry or us

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6 phases of a project:

1. Enthusiasm.
2. Disillusionment.
3. Panic.
4. Search for the guilty.
5. Punishment for the innocent.
6. Praise and honors for the non participants.

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