DNA Paternity Question - Please Help (Oct/02/2006 )
Hi, I'm new here and I hope this is the correct forum to seek advice..I'm caught between a rock and a hard spot. 11 years ago by ex wife got pregnant. She had been intimate with myself and another guy at the time. At first she said the child wasn't mine, then a few weeks later (while she was pregnant) she said the child was mine. For the last 11 years she has claimed the child is mine...However, she won't follow through with the DNA testing for reasons I don't understand. Question: Is there anyway I can secretly obtain DNA from this child so that we can ascertain who the father is or is this unethical? I feel this child should have a father's name on his birth certificate as opposed to being blank. I realize this isn't Dear Abby but I'm not sure where to turn to at this point...Any advice would sure be appreciated. Thanks, Jody
An interesting case. This is the certainly the first time I have seen anything like this here. As to your answer, my two pence worth of advice would be to visit a forum of lawyers (or lawyers in training) or better yet seek proper legal advice. Ethics and technical capability has little to do with this case. It boils down to the law (hence lawyers). Is the child still a minor? Do you have legal status as a guardian? Is your ex-wife making or in the process of you pay for child support? If you are being pressure to acknowledge a child whose paternality is undefine, I believe you should have the right to determine if that claim is true. Which would mean a DNA fingerprint test.
The child is still a minor. I do not have legal guardianship. I have not paid any child support simply because she won't do the testing. My ex-wife has now said that I am not permitted to see the child. I think it's because I told her that her son has the right to be raised by a sober parent (which she is not). Now she feels that I may be going after custody, if the child is proven to be mine. I was wondering if it would be possible to just obtain a hair sample and send it in for testing. Jody
check with lawyers....but this is what i think they'll tell you...
since she is saying you're the father (even if you are not paying child support), you have a right to do the DNA testing to confirm this.
if your thinking of doing it under the radar, have one the DNA testing kits sent to you (google it). you could do a mouth swab. if you're after a hair sample, remember to take the root of the hair. perhaps you have a hairbrush from your daughter?
If it is unethical or not you have to check with our own conscience. At least the result can give you clarity what to do or not to do. To do the test without permisson is not illegal (i think in almost all countries), but for courts this proof is (again in most countries) without any value, because the mother did not allow. And you should not make results too public, that everone knows.
Finally, that the mother did not allow a test and did not ask or even sue for any child support is also an indication...