I can't imagine how you "train" yourself to stop or change the topic or not get stressed out when you realise that the discussion is not working out.
And with the non-verbal cues (body language, tone of voice, posture etc), they could be different for each person, so how do you asimilate all these differences and come up with certain interpretations? I guess you watch out for groups of signals and not just one in "reading" people. But still, even the neurotypicals would have a hard time esp when trying to detect deception bec isn't that what deceiving and/or lying is all about (to mislead, hide the truth) esp when it's perfected to a skill by certain people. So it's really amazing I think, all the efforts and the work you have to invest in developing social skills that many neurotypicals wouldn't even think or be so conscious or concerned about.
To go back to language and literalness, I guess it's difficult to detect subtleties such as ironies, metaphors, analogies or other figures of speech...and what about reading poetry....I suppose this one you can teach yourself or still learn, it's just that it would take more time or double the effort that the neurotypicals would take or invest in. And see....you like Captain Ahab's rants ....
Ah, sometimes I don't realize a conversation isn't working out. Sometimes I miss that the person I'm talking to is bored.
Sometimes it's more important to me, or more interesting to me to talk about something than it is for someone to listen.
It's something that I need to work on along with talking about the same things over and over again.
My wife could probably tell you more about being a victim of this than I can.
Yeah, there are an awful lot of non-verbal body language that I cannot read. Much of the idiocyncratic stuff I don't know what's happening. I try just ignore it or see if I can understand what it means for that person.
It can lead to little insights about individuals or it can lead to being confused.
But, yeah, I've spent a lot of time watching people and how they interact so that I can function in these relationships. That said, get me in a group of more than two people and I rapidly start drowning as it all happens too fast and simultaneously. That processing and selectivity that NT's can unconsciously achieve is quite impressive from the outside.
People have said that I would make a bad manager because of this but I think (and have experience of) the opposite. Management is in a very controlled environment and largely in groups of small numbers. I can analyze things very specifically and carefully then.
Language I love. Short poetry I love. I have had to learn by rote metaphors and analogies and turns of phrase (and sometimes badly. I do attempt them on my own but people say that my analogies are terrible but I can't see why). I have had to learn to try be comfortable with ambiguity which can make a lot of language difficult (e.g. poetry). As a child I wanted to be a scientist because that was (to my young mind) about facts and proof and evidence.
Two out of three aint bad but that there are no "facts" was a real struggle for me. Realizing that we cannot know everything and what we do know if purely on an evidence based system was an enormous salve to my perception. Godel's work showing that we cannot know everything was enormously distressing to me.
I like to think that AS folk have a lot to offer, that we're different but not better or worse than NT's. Where we're good at something and you are bad you'll be good at another thing and we'll be bad. Certainly we look at the world in different ways and all the BIG problems are only solved by new perspectives and new ways of thinking.
But yeah, Ahab's obsession, determination and bloody minded perseverance is very glamourous to me. I understand a man like that...I am a man like that.
To the last, I grapple with thee; from Hell's heart, I stab at thee; for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.