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I think, therefore, I joke


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#106 hobglobin

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Posted 08 May 2010 - 07:47 AM

:D..then it's not a joke anymore if Jake has to explain it...but perhaps he shld....clue: but where's the water or the foam? :P..


Also needed some time to get it...this is a clue too: Read it loud...

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate." :D

:D....he had to make us work for it....


"Isaac Newton was the first discoverer of gravy." :(

:D BTW I didn't get your foam and water as clue....

"Time's fun when you're having flies."

if you didn't get the foam, then you didn't get the joke...:lol:...


What's the origin of the universe?

It's started with the big band...:D

but your clue needs a google search for the non-native speakers: "Hugh and only Hugh can prevent forest fires"....again a twisted clue by multiple-twisted casandra :D
what about this, for me really difficult:

"A British cat, named One-Two-Three, competes with his French rival, Un-Deux-Trois, in a swim race across the Channel. Guess who won?
Un-Deux-Trois cat sank."

One must presume that long and short arguments contribute to the same end. - Epicurus
...except casandra's that belong to the funniest, most interesting and imaginative (or over-imaginative?) ones, I suppose.

That is....if she posts at all.


#107 casandra

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Posted 08 May 2010 - 07:52 AM


if you didn't get the foam, then you didn't get the joke...:lol:...


What's the origin of the universe?

It's started with the big band...:P

but your clue needs a google search for the non-native speakers: "Hugh and only Hugh can prevent forest fires"....again a twisted clue by multiple-twisted casandra :(
what about this, for me really difficult:

"A British cat, named One-Two-Three, competes with his French rival, Un-Deux-Trois, in a swim race across the Channel. Guess who won?
Un-Deux-Trois cat sank."

but even I can understand this and my french sucks....and it shld be:

Un- Deux-Trois- Catrrrrrrrrrrr-Sank :D...you know rrrrrrr for the purrrrrrrr.....

and let's blame Another Jake for that twisted joke...:D

Edited by casandra, 08 May 2010 - 07:53 AM.

"Oh what a beauteousness!"
- hobglobin, personal comment about my beauteous photo......

#108 Doki

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Posted 08 May 2010 - 11:46 PM

My fav and the one I always had written on my desk before the eggjams.

''Time passes, will U?'

I still haven't understood the Hugh one. :P Time I ask a Canuck.
Simple living, highnot thinking

#109 Doki

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Posted 09 May 2010 - 12:59 AM

Commission has just announced that English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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#110 Prep!

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Posted 12 May 2010 - 02:56 AM

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Try & try, if you don't succeed, then CHEAT
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else!
Support bacteria - They are the only culture some people have!!!
Cheers!!!

#111 Doki

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Posted 12 May 2010 - 06:20 AM

A man got 2 wishes from god. He asked for the best wine and best woman.

Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.

Moral: Be Specific.
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#112 swanny

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Posted 16 May 2010 - 07:56 PM

This one needs to be read aloud...

Q: Why don't French speakers have two eggs for breakfast?

A: They find that 1 egg is un oeuf!
Heart disease kills more women than breast cancer, but heart attack symptoms differ from men's symptoms. Get to know your heart... it could save your life.

#113 Doki

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Posted 20 May 2010 - 11:06 PM

Man walks into a bar and orders 7 shots of tequila.

The bartender says, "are you celebrating something?"

The man says, " Yes, my wife ran away with my best friend."

Bartender says, "That doesn't sound like something to celebrate."

Man says, "Oh sure, it saves me a ton of money, they were both pregnant!"
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#114 Prep!

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 01:30 AM

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.


[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.



[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband !



[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.



[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.



[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.



[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.



[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.



[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.



[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.



[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.



[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.



[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.



[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.



[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.



[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.



[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.



[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.



[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.



[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something



[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak !



[22] Man : Is there any way for long life ?
Dr : Get married.
Man : Will it help ?
Dr : No, but then the thought of long life will never come.



[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding ? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins !



[24] Wife : Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do ?
Husband : Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.



[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.



[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.



[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it !
Support bacteria - They are the only culture some people have!!!
Cheers!!!

#115 Doki

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 02:46 AM

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband !

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak !

[22] Man : Is there any way for long life ?
Dr : Get married.
Man : Will it help ?
Dr : No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding ? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins !

[24] Wife : Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do ?
Husband : Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it !


Selected for Prep! :)
Simple living, highnot thinking

#116 Prep!

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 03:28 AM

:) :D :D :D :)

u always lookin to warn me eh nabi-san!!!! :P
Support bacteria - They are the only culture some people have!!!
Cheers!!!

#117 Doki

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 03:38 AM

:) :D :D :D :)

u always lookin to warn me eh nabi-san!!!! :P

U don't know how evil I am in this matter
Simple living, highnot thinking

#118 hobglobin

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 03:47 AM

Love is blind.

:)

One must presume that long and short arguments contribute to the same end. - Epicurus
...except casandra's that belong to the funniest, most interesting and imaginative (or over-imaginative?) ones, I suppose.

That is....if she posts at all.


#119 Prep!

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 03:51 AM

yeah but shud not be dumb!!! :)

nabi-san i will be equally resistant!!! :D
Support bacteria - They are the only culture some people have!!!
Cheers!!!

#120 Doki

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 04:17 AM

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site
noticed the coarse language of the workers
and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch,
sit with the workers and talk with them.
She put her sandwich in a brown bag and
walked over to the spot where the men were eating.
She walked up to the group and with a big smile said:
"Do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,
"Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down
"Why?"
The worker yelled back,
"His wife's here with his lunch."
Simple living, highnot thinking




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