I'm looking for a new postdoc job. and i'm fed up with being rejected or the reserve or second choice.
ok, i got stuck with a project from hell atm, but i've been making the most of it. i'm being positive and moving everything forward, even when i had the assistant from hell, and no equipment. i've started working on new topics and had them handed off to new students because they don't have any projects to work on etc etc. still moving on. working it all through, all out, getting data for publications... having a manuscript sit on the bosses desk for 6 months, because he likes to play favourites with people in the lab. fine, whatever... i work late, i start early. i get things working smoothly. i got the paper out.
after 2 years of struggling, my boss finally saw that the assistant wasn't there most of the time and when he was - didn't do anything. also my boss finally decided to buy the equipment that we need. so now that everything is readily available - my contract is ending. oh but now i'm leaving, i don't have to take care of the equipment - and it's getting dirty and ruined because my replacement can't be bothered to maintain the room.
the project i joined the group for - didn't work on it. why? because i had to train people constantly - and then repeat their experiments after they left because they made a pigs breakfast of it all. or someone refused to do the in vivo experiments, and because I have the experience, it falls to me. not my project, but i can set that aside, right? so, i've been unhappy - but productive - for 3 years. i've had a horrible time.
now, i'm looking to get out. and, i've got a pretty good publication record. i'm bloody good at what I do. so why the hell am i always the second choice?
I just got passed up on a job that I am *perfect* for - all the experience they need - but they took someone who has "more experience working in fish". fu. what they want is exactly what i do - exactly. what, did the other person teach the fish to dance? they wanted live cell imaging - i do live cell imaging. they want signaling pathways, i do signaling pathways.
i've been passed up on mol. biol. jobs because the supervisors think: because i've just finished a fish project, i don't know how to run a western blot.
ok, the guy who is replacing me at my current job doesn't know anything about human cells, or how to do pcrs, etc, but he's charismatic ... so i guess it's alright.
but, did the pi i applied with even looked at my cv? it looks like he didn't. dude, i rock at PCR and chip and nuclear run on... anway, after that interview, i didn't want to work with him.
I just don't know what i'm doing wrong. compared with the people I graduated with - i have about 3x the number of publications they have. i have experience in vivo (mouse & zebrafish), as well as pretty much everything else required for a post doc in a molecular biology lab. i've got poster awards, i've done speaches at international conferences, and i've won travel grants... the interviews go well... to the point they ask when i could start etc.... but when push comes to shove, i'm always second choice. i don't understand why i'm always second.
they're nice about it... it's always a difficult decision. but really?
I'm beginning to suspect that the reference i have from my current boss isn't great.
when i first started - straight out of school with nearly no lab experience - i was passed up on a project and was given over to another lab. years later, that supervisor said he regretted the decision: i was the most productive student the institute had ever seen.
just venting. need to breathe.