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How to be a troll


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19 replies to this topic

#1 hobglobin

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    Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional...

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Posted 11 September 2009 - 01:11 PM

In light of recent events this might be interesting and of course funny:

How to be a troll


  • Wait patiently until somebody writes a thing you think you can attack, no matter what. If possible go for marginal trifles.
  • Start arguing smoothly in your best imitation of a real scholar (rehearse first).
  • Keep on provoking with increasing offensiveness until the other reacts.
  • In case of a friendly and polite reply, put it blunter and blunter until the other's politeness wears off.
  • Get as personal as you can: too much is still not enough.
  • Don't use any hint of humour or subtlety: as they relate to intelligence real trolls ignore all about them.
  • Never forget that You Are Right. If your opponent puts you in the corner yell like hell and twist the world until it matches what you said.
  • Don't be shy, insult freely. The more reasonable the other sounds, the louder and heavier your insults shall be.
  • Don't give quarter: intrude in whatever discussion you like and never relent until it dies in order to get rid of you.
  • If irreparably cornered change nickname and restart elsewhere.

So far the 'how' to do it. About the 'why' you should do it, the explanation can vary. The table below covers only part of the known reasons. Please check all that applies.

  • as a toddler you had an unresolved conflict with the chamber pot.
  • since you are unable to prove your superiority, you feel compelled to prove other people's inferiority.
  • your mother used to shout at you before your friends "and remember not to wet your pants again!"
  • your father was always right, in particular when he was wrong. Now you are feeling that your turn has come.
  • your girlfriend left you for a nice, cultivated man.
  • your baby-sitter committed suicide because of you and you cannot get rid of the remorse.
  • you like tying empty cans to the cat's tail.
  • you would like so much to rape a woman but your hardware isn't up to it.
  • as a child the nastier you were the more you got, and you never found a valid reason to change.
  • you are actually the reincarnation of Napoleon but are keeping it confidential for obvious reasons.
  • other (specify)_______________________________________________________________________



Taken from here

One must presume that long and short arguments contribute to the same end. - Epicurus
...except casandra's that belong to the funniest, most interesting and imaginative (or over-imaginative?) ones, I suppose.

That is....if she posts at all.


#2 gebirgsziege

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Posted 25 September 2009 - 04:29 AM

you know my boss??????
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. (Oscar Wilde)

#3 casandra

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    carpe diem by the jugulum

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Posted 25 September 2009 - 11:05 AM

Nope....but now we do.....:(....
"Oh what a beauteousness!"
- hobglobin, personal comment about my beauteous photo......

#4 gebirgsziege

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Posted 27 September 2009 - 10:39 PM

....and he even looks like one ;)
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. (Oscar Wilde)

#5 toejam

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Posted 28 September 2009 - 02:47 AM

what kind of lab are you in gebz? :D
"When there's no more room in hell the dead will walk the Earth"

#6 casandra

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    carpe diem by the jugulum

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Posted 28 September 2009 - 08:21 AM

....and he even looks like one :D

:lol:...post a pic gebZ and let me be the judge.....
"Oh what a beauteousness!"
- hobglobin, personal comment about my beauteous photo......

#7 gebirgsziege

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 12:18 AM

what kind of lab are you in gebz? :)


in the middle of wood and mountains there live strange creatures :D

waldschrat.jpg
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. (Oscar Wilde)

#8 toejam

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 01:59 AM

hey gebz, he seems like a nice guy. maybe someone stole his magic mushrooms and became a troll overnight :)
"When there's no more room in hell the dead will walk the Earth"

#9 casandra

casandra

    carpe diem by the jugulum

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 07:57 AM

what kind of lab are you in gebz? :huh:


in the middle of wood and mountains there live strange creatures :D

waldschrat.jpg


:lol: but gebZ......this one's soo cute.......post a "real" picture.....
"Oh what a beauteousness!"
- hobglobin, personal comment about my beauteous photo......

#10 gebirgsziege

gebirgsziege

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 08:34 AM

better I don`t.....it will be too horrible for you to stand it! Your sensitive souls will suffer when I do...... :lol:

But tj how comes you know about the magic mushrooms :huh:
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. (Oscar Wilde)

#11 toejam

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 09:17 AM

isn't a magic mushroom what your boss is holding on his hand? :huh:
"When there's no more room in hell the dead will walk the Earth"

#12 toejam

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 09:21 AM

you can even see the snail on his left foot asking for more :huh:
"When there's no more room in hell the dead will walk the Earth"

#13 hobglobin

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 09:36 AM

The snail is the symbol for what the troll thinks the students are :huh:

For me this is a Troll (or look like a possible one):

Posted Image

One must presume that long and short arguments contribute to the same end. - Epicurus
...except casandra's that belong to the funniest, most interesting and imaginative (or over-imaginative?) ones, I suppose.

That is....if she posts at all.


#14 casandra

casandra

    carpe diem by the jugulum

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 11:23 AM

<_<


shouldn't he be showing some flesh...like you know, a hideous belly button.....probably pierced.....
"Oh what a beauteousness!"
- hobglobin, personal comment about my beauteous photo......

#15 gebirgsziege

gebirgsziege

    I like fungi

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 10:59 PM

@ casandra: this troll has a university degree, he knows he has to dress well :P

@tj: this should have been kept as secrtet.....it is well known that esp. snails like the psilocybin (there are rumours that a person working on psilocybin onece tried this :))
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. (Oscar Wilde)




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