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All I got was frustrations

Posted by Adrian K, 14 November 2010 · 2,916 views

I'm not sure what had gone wrong in my life, that I had made the most stupid decision is to join this department. I can't leave now for sure, I got most of my work done, but yet, still more awaits. I was a total noob when I start, I was given a project to run. I admit to my boss in the very beginning I don't have much technical skills in the later part of the work, I'm not a biochemist, I never run columns, protein chip, HPLC etc, and I definitely not experienced in protein work. I never heard of mass-spec either, nevertheless on how to operate it or to use it. I was promised help will be provided, and someone can technically guide me, but till today, I still struggle to learn every single technique on my own. I never knew this project is such a tough work. I not sure whether my boss understands the project's requirement or how it had to be done to achieve the goal. I never knew; but for sure my boss used to say: is you guys who do the work and not me.I wish that I can finish off end of this year, but current progress is not promising. The facilities are extremely limited for me to do my work. I had to bear with the limited usage of PCR machine due to the broke down in my collaborative lab. I do not have a PCR machine in my lab, I do not have electrophoresis system. If I never insist to purchase a PAGE set I will never have one, forget about the power pack which is not included (have to borrow somewhere). I don't have facility for me to do my column work, no UV-vis spectro either. No nano-drop, no mili-Q (have to steal in other places). Also, I'm ain't any scholarship funded.A paper was prepared, but the PI wanted to patent it, no news till now. Another short communication was prepared too, but PI disagree, wanted to make it a full paper and more work had to be done, damn, there is no PCR right now and I was expected to do the work. I was asked to prepare poster for overseas conference, but I was never asked to attend.I just got my clones sequenced. Another failed result of the day: there are mutation sites which changed the amino acids. I still can't accept the fact that it does shows error as I used KOD hotstart, run at optimum 68C proof reading temperature. This happened quite a few times to myself. Geez, 7 genes to clone, but only 20 reactions for my vector. I can't afford to purchase another kit.Now the time is short, research grant is depleting, and results aren't right.Man, I'm just doing my master in science, can't everything just be a bit lenient on me? Do they really want me to suck here for 3-4 years?Yup, here's an edited lyrics from a famous song, if you ever heard it before:

26 years and my life is stillTrying to get up that great big hill of hopeFor a "graduation".I realised quickly when I knew I shouldThat the world was made for thisBrotherhood of manFor whatever that meansAnd so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bedJust to get it all out, what's in my headAnd I, I am feeling a little peculiarAnd so I wake in the morning and I stepOutside and I take deep breathAnd I get real highAnd I scream from the top of my lungsWhat's goin' on?And I try, oh my God do I tryI try all the timeIn this institutionAnd I pray, oh my God do I prayI pray every single dayFor a revolution

Hey, at least you have learnt a lot! Cheer up! (although myself is a little stressed too these days)
Were those mutations you got in the primer region? Recently I got a really bad batch of primers that turned me down.
Hi rosepolaris,
Haha. Cheers.
The mutations were not in my primer regions...haha. Also, I had seen the MALDI-TOF QC for each of the primer and it does satisfy me.

Hush Adrian. I'm not a complete noob but I am new to my masters programme and I was never good in lab work during undergrad. Right now, I am just doing some preliminary testing and I can't even get past that stage. It really gets me down because the procedure is pretty straight forward and right now I don't get why I'm not getting results. I think that you should just STOP reminiscing on the bad things, like you said you are almost at the end so if needs be go into auto mode and get the work done. Screw those people that took advantage of you (but protect your work! I read something about a patent so that's good). You will hopefully look back and say thank God I'm over this and feel happy you got over such a hurdle. Maybe the endurance that you built up from being through all of this will help you tackle other problems that you meet in life. I'm personally seeing myself grow into someone who can better handle situations with patience, I know I have to practice self discipline etc. Anyway, on a happier note I see that you like Bleach. Ken is awesome. Oh! I suggest you don't stress yourself. For me, being around my friends is the best stress reliever so find your own and good luck.

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